planning an elopement - all you need to know
I’ve always been drawn to smaller weddings, celebrating your most important day with the ones you love and care about, instead of the whole bunch of cousins and aunties you haven’t seen since you were 3. That’s how my own wedding went - just the closest family and friends, a ceremony in the garden (my husband is Argentinian, so we had good weather guaranteed! Lucky me, I know) and the best party in my life. Honestly - dancing barefoot, seeing everyone I love around us, laughing and being happy. It was 2015 and the elopements were not a big thing just yet (I’m sure I’d want to elope somewhere in Andes!) Now, it’s 2020 and you can have that if that’s what you’ve always planned, or.. you may be forced to do it on a smaller scale, corona-wise.. Even if it’s pandemic that’s forcing you to think on a micro wedding scale, believe me - there’s a lot to look forward to and I’m here to help!
Let’s look at eloping. What is eloping and why do people choose this (increasingly popular!) way of getting hitched?
Overwhelmingly, the very number one reason that people report choosing to elope is that they wanted to experience a totally intimate wedding celebration – a day focused on just the two of them. Couples say they want to strip away the pressure, anxiety and obligation they felt about having a traditional wedding. Imagine - just you and your love, in the magnificent location of your choosing and the vows (there has to a celebrant involved of course and usually a photographer, so you can share this wonderful moment with your family). I have to say - a pandemic is a lovely explanation, if you’re struggling to give your parents the reason behind not wanting them on your wedding :-)
I need add that there are no rules when it comes to eloping - you can plan it in Iceland (please take me with you!), in your favourite London garden.. It can just be the two of you or you can invite a few closest people. Really - anything you want! Isn’t it freeing?
One of my couples said: “We wanted to have the most intimate and private ceremony—to have that moment of becoming husband and wife just to ourselves forever.”
Ok, so where do you start planning an elopement?
Here’s a checklist, if you’re from UK:
Check the Legal Requirements
I hate to break it to you but you can’t elope quite as spontaneously as you might think. Regardless of which part of the UK you are marrying, you must ‘give notice’ to marry at your local registry office at least 29 days before, which includes details of your final venue. This means you'll need to know where you intend to marry already - find you location and officiant in advance (this could be a registry office, licensed wedding venue, celebrant on the beach etc) and get them booked in.
In the past, eloping was associated with young couples running away to marry without their parents' permission. That isn't the case now, but legal age limits do stand if you happen to be under the age of 18. You must be over 16 to marry in England and Wales, and will need parental permission if you're under 18. Different rules apply in Scotland (e.g. where parental permission isn’t needed under 18) and Northern Ireland, so make sure you read the laws carefully.
Still - it’s 29 in advance, not 12 months (at least!) of planning, if you go for a traditional wedding :-) a big win, I’d say!
Plan the Ceremony
Here, you can go as creative as you want - the sky’s the limit! You need to decide what your ceremony will look like. Do you want to keep any traditions like exchanging rings? Do you want to hire a photographer to capture this special moment? (mmm, yeah! click here to talk to me about my elopement packages) Will you carry a bouquet? What will you wear?
Choose Your Witnesses
You need two witnesses to legally marry in the UK. These can be strangers, people you know, or often staff at the registry office or venue will be happy to step in and be witnesses for you. Your humble photographer can step in as one too! :-)
Decide How You'll Celebrate
After the ceremony you'll want to continue your celebrations. This could be a fancy meal for just the two of you, a big reception with all your friends and family, or a small celebration with some of your closest loved ones. It's completely up to you and how secret you want to keep your wedding.
If it's just the two of you celebrating, you could head to a Michelin star restaurant, fly straight off on a weekend break or check into a posh hotel and spa. Or go camping! If you want to reveal to loved ones you just got married, how about inviting them for a special dinner under the guise of celebrating a birthday or promotion and then reveal you actually tied the knot? If you're not ready for celebrations just yet, throw a party on your one year anniversary.
Announce Your Elopement
Of course, the way you tell people is up to you but you will need a reveal plan. Your loved ones may be upset if they find out by accident. Here's some ideas for announcing you got married:
Call your closest friends and family and tell them on the phone, then announce to everyone else on social media
Send an email with romantic photos from the day and explain why you chose to elope
Throw a party (it can be informal, like a summer BBQ in your garden) and reveal it to the group in person
Eloping Abroad
The same basic plan follows, but be aware that legal requirements can be vastly different to the UK.
Elopements abroad will be subject to the laws of that country. You can use this gov.uk tool to find out exactly what documents you’ll need, any legal and residency requirements, and if the marriage will be legal under UK law. Be aware that certain countries, like Mexico, and some US states even require blood tests. My best elopement locations include: Iceland, Norway (Faroe islands, it’s gorgeous there!), Scotland and the beach locations of course: Portugal, Canary Islands, Mexico. But as I said before - the sky is the limit!
Good luck lovely people and don’t forget to chat to me, if you have any more questions! Here’s the link